Sunday, March 9, 2014

Sometimes The End Comes At The Beginning.

Simba The Greyhound and I
were walking in twilight,
strolling along through a country Gum-grove,
enjoying ourselves
with a herd of steers keeping pace,
behind the fence
as my girl, the ex-racer, was at my heel,
when our lives were to change
from peace to pain,
from joy to sorrow
and what still does remain
in my cells,
in my heart
and deep in my lungs
is the crash and the agony,
the scream and the steers
and the story I write
after fifteen years of tears.

We were happy on this summers night,
we went there often in the quiet,
through the long grass
on a beaten dirt track,
along government land
a place to see, a place to be
with rural fields on either side
a welcoming retreat
through which to stride.

And then she saw the sitting rabbit
and leapt from my heels
to an outstanding pace
to a flying speed
dancing through space
like a sleek racer
and I could see her way up ahead
leaping high in the sky
and the joy filled my heart,
I felt she was running free
so far ahead of me.

The herd of steers was trailing her
and I remember it was an amazing sight
until she crashed in pain
and the steers stopped still in their field
as I ran as fast as I could
knowing I would
not be able to lift, or carry her
the miles back to my car,
and in the fear
I was comforted by steers
who stayed at the fence watching over her
while I found a Vet to come to her aid
and in his Ute
the last journey we made.

I knew in my heart
as immense sorrow smashed in
this was the end
to the walk we began,
this was the time I will never forget,
as I found her under the barbed-wire line
which was strung between trees without any sign.

I sat up all night with her head in my lap
not knowing how to bury her.
And in the morning I lay flowers in that grass
with many steers leaning-in
facing me over the fence,
our connection in grief was truly immense.

I have always been a dog-lover and I have shared much of my life with my pets as my best friends. You know, the way you just do connect so deeply with dog-spirit energy and feel such immense gratitude for their unconditional love and acceptance of you.

 After Simba’s accident, I held the grief so deeply.  I had ‘adopted her’ in a foster care way, with the understanding that she would return to the farm for a breeding season. Though we only shared 6 months together, I loved her calm and placid nature. And I thought there would come a way to save her from more breeding.

But not that way.  And not during our happiest time together.

And herein lies my pain.

 “Sometimes the end comes at the beginning”.
Simba By The Winterpond

1 comment:

  1. January 9, 2021
    Hello Friends,
    I notice there has been recent response to this post. If you want to read about my loving dogs over the years, press < to read the Older post on mobile screen and on website it is the Older Post link at bottom of the page.
    Thanks Bee