Friday, May 31, 2013

The Wells of Sadness

The wells of sadness
fill you up
with all the thoughts
‘you are not enough’
and all the times
when life was tough
and what you did
and who you were
was more than less
you ever wanted,
less was more
than you could handle
and in your heart
you felt the downward spiral.

No-one ever saw you sink
as you just kept going
without a blink
pushing on
never saying what you felt
letting everyone
ride your pony
when deep inside
you were so lonely.
Lonely feelings
in lonely hours
and all the while
you kept on smiling
‘do your best
just keep going’,
no-one likes a sad old face
just keep going
you’ll win the race.

You’ll get to where
you think you’re going
you’ll find the way
the signs are showing
and deep inside
you do your best,
but rewards are few
when you past the test.
You’re empty of the love you need,
you’ve gone through life
at another speed.
You got all A’s
but truly now
you feel the haze
of where you went
and how you felt
and disappoint is within
that you worked yourself
like it all mattered,
when deep within
you felt so shattered.
Tired and tight,
dark, not bright,
do your best
keep it quiet,
stay at home in your hermit’s life…
I like alone time,
it’s calm and quiet.
No one rattles,
no one shouts,
I am not pushed
or thrown about.
I have my old friend
and life is fine
and so am I
but why inside
do I still cry?
I cry because
I do keep quiet,
I write my verses
and express with light
but in the night
I cough and choke
and wonder where
my soul will find
the secret yearning of my heart.
Oh Love myself
that’s where I start.

Let my voice be heard,
let my heart just sing
with all the joy
the flowers bring,
the fragrant rooms,
the stillness now,
breathe in peace
and rest your stress,
just be yourself,
do not push and strain
love yourself to the core….
God knows how good
that would be
to bring you light
and help you see
That all you ever need my love,
is to accept yourself and know,
love is deeper than the sadness well,
so lighten up and prepare to tell.
Share your soul
with your heart
and healing comes
with the blessed start.
Tell them all how you feel
being kind, is being real.

Part 1 written July 25, 2012 in the depths of illness from whooping cough)

The wells of sadness
fill up when
you think of now
and think of then
and all the while
how it was
and who you were
and whether much has changed
on looking back
on the road
or off the track.
And now you travel
off the track,
the road less travelled
leads you on
to life with joy
being light and strong.
Blessings surround you
and healing shows
in many ways
and though the challenges
have been intense
and everyday in every way
your light is brighter
and you hear us say
“keep on going through the light
and all your blessings
are beaming bright
and your love is
showing through
love yourself
begin anew.”

(Part 2 This was written July 26, 2012 when I was still dreadfully sick with whooping cough!)

I wrote these verses 10 months ago whilst I was in the dark night of my soul experience.

I am ever so grateful I am happy now with much more joyful feeling in my everyday life. May 31, 2013

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

What this autumn leaf told me.....

Some up
some down
some dance around
and all the while
the breeze it blows
and some go upstream
and some go slow,
some just sit on the waterside
as emotions swirl
and leaves just glide
through the water,
carried by the flow
and they go someplace
they do not know…

And others, well
they wait their time
they place themselves about mid-line
and wonder ‘what-ifs’ yet to come,
playing notes,
but rarely strum.
These are the ones
who know there’s more
than easy paths through the woods
and ‘wish I had’
or ‘wish I could’.
Of course we can
choose our own sweet space
and go our way,
at our own pace.
This is real for some
who fear ‘what’s next’,
read the verse,
or read the text,
the manual may have all they need,
but they go their own pace,
no thought of speed.

Now what is this,
I hear you say
as you type this down
as it’s heard today…
Is this about me?
or you,
or all of us, one and all,
there is guidance
from the leaves that fall
down from trees
we hardly see
that colour themselves
with beauty, that’s given free
for all who see…….
And if a sit, came to be,
the leaf from tree
would say, and see
all we ever need to know
to live with love
and surely show
that what is up, is not down
upside-down is all around
and the seed is planted in the ground……

The tree it grows up to the sky
and neither you
or either I,
will think a thing
about the gift
that comes to us with every leaf
that ever landed on our path,
a page from heaven
to send us hope and let us know
we can all cope
with everything that comes our way
we have guidance everyday…

So walk a little slower by
the tree of life
near which you lie,
and there will ever be the breeze
that carries thoughts
down through it’s leaves……
and leaves you
with warm love indeed
as that is your gift
and what you need.

So as you go
and as you are,
look for signs that float to you
to shine the way
and lead you through
whatever thoughts you ponder long
be blessed today
and know you’re strong…..

(Written with a red heart-shaped leaf from the Manchurian Pear tree May 16, 2013)

As this verse came to me, I just kept typing to keep up speed.
Here is a way of using words, that until I read it back to myself, I wonder what I am writing for us, and then I know I have been gifted another treasure. I believe this verse is about:

Ask and you shall receive…..
Let some things fall away,
let them go…
you never noticed anyway…
Have more hope and faith,
be creative
in your own sweet way
and bring your patience
into everyday…