Friday, May 31, 2013

The Wells of Sadness

The wells of sadness
fill you up
with all the thoughts
‘you are not enough’
and all the times
when life was tough
and what you did
and who you were
was more than less
you ever wanted,
less was more
than you could handle
and in your heart
you felt the downward spiral.

No-one ever saw you sink
as you just kept going
without a blink
pushing on
never saying what you felt
letting everyone
ride your pony
when deep inside
you were so lonely.
Lonely feelings
in lonely hours
and all the while
you kept on smiling
‘do your best
just keep going’,
no-one likes a sad old face
just keep going
you’ll win the race.

You’ll get to where
you think you’re going
you’ll find the way
the signs are showing
and deep inside
you do your best,
but rewards are few
when you past the test.
You’re empty of the love you need,
you’ve gone through life
at another speed.
You got all A’s
but truly now
you feel the haze
of where you went
and how you felt
and disappoint is within
that you worked yourself
like it all mattered,
when deep within
you felt so shattered.
Tired and tight,
dark, not bright,
do your best
keep it quiet,
stay at home in your hermit’s life…
I like alone time,
it’s calm and quiet.
No one rattles,
no one shouts,
I am not pushed
or thrown about.
I have my old friend
and life is fine
and so am I
but why inside
do I still cry?
I cry because
I do keep quiet,
I write my verses
and express with light
but in the night
I cough and choke
and wonder where
my soul will find
the secret yearning of my heart.
Oh Love myself
that’s where I start.

Let my voice be heard,
let my heart just sing
with all the joy
the flowers bring,
the fragrant rooms,
the stillness now,
breathe in peace
and rest your stress,
just be yourself,
do not push and strain
love yourself to the core….
God knows how good
that would be
to bring you light
and help you see
That all you ever need my love,
is to accept yourself and know,
love is deeper than the sadness well,
so lighten up and prepare to tell.
Share your soul
with your heart
and healing comes
with the blessed start.
Tell them all how you feel
being kind, is being real.

Part 1 written July 25, 2012 in the depths of illness from whooping cough)

The wells of sadness
fill up when
you think of now
and think of then
and all the while
how it was
and who you were
and whether much has changed
on looking back
on the road
or off the track.
And now you travel
off the track,
the road less travelled
leads you on
to life with joy
being light and strong.
Blessings surround you
and healing shows
in many ways
and though the challenges
have been intense
and everyday in every way
your light is brighter
and you hear us say
“keep on going through the light
and all your blessings
are beaming bright
and your love is
showing through
love yourself
begin anew.”

(Part 2 This was written July 26, 2012 when I was still dreadfully sick with whooping cough!)

I wrote these verses 10 months ago whilst I was in the dark night of my soul experience.

I am ever so grateful I am happy now with much more joyful feeling in my everyday life. May 31, 2013

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